09 March 2006


Grandma is as comfortable as she's likely to get, stuck in a bed and unable to move. Last night...was not fun. She rolled out of bed. I discovered that I could (barely) lift her off the floor unaided. It was in an awkward spot where another person would have been more hindrance than help. However, the hospice people brought a hospital bed with rails, so she's not going to roll out again. The Rahims also arranged for some anti-nausea medication, so maybe she'll be able to keep some food down. I guess she drank some Boost (senior multi-vitamin drink), but not very much.

Speaking of which, I haven't had a decent meal yet today. I cooked a good meal for lunch...only I guess the sausage had been in the freezer too long. It hadn't gone bad, it just tasted old, and I couldn't stand to eat much of it. However, I have leftovers from lunch yesterday (Canton Restaurant in IF), and rice will be done soon to go with it. Then I'm heading back over to Grandma's house. They couldn't find an overnight Nurse/Aide/Worker, some title like that, on such short notice, and Mom doesn't want to be alone. I don't blame her.

I didn't get much sleep last night. Mom needed help with Grandma several times, and after the second time I didn't do much more than doze. I did doze off long enough for one very weird dream: Granny Weatherwax (from Discworld) was on the rampage and killed me in the Fred Meyer electronics department; when I was killed, it was like my mind turned inside out and I was in a sort of trance/limbo state, waiting for her to bring me back (apparently, this was a story with a happy ending, though there's none like it in the actual Discworld universe). I woke up before that could be resolved, and my head still felt like it had been turned inside out. Caffeinated tea got me through the morning, but I've been slowly wilting since. Only the promise of food is keeping me going at the moment.

Something very strange happened last night, though it may have been nothing more than a delusion brought on by lack of sleep. I could have sworn I felt Death enter the house, and when I woke up in the morning, there was still this sense of...presence. Waiting. *sighs*

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