Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

18 December 2009

Some Things Are Best Left Locked

Okay, the major part of the IC dispute has played itself out, so it is now safe to post this. Last night, we started with the post-long-rest-plot playing itself out. We made it to another encounter after that, but we're not even halfway through it, so I'm not going to post anything on that. I will comment that, both IC and OOC, I did think things were going too far, and Dovra's actions reflect that. Her plan didn't work, but I didn't honestly expect it to. I was hoping to irritate the gods enough that they would actually show up; Dovra's probably just as happy this did not happen, though Fibonacci told us that they were on standby in case things went completely pear-shaped. Apparently what the rock said when it set Shenron on fire to wake him up was, "Dovra just attacked you! She must die!", but it didn't roll high enough to force Shenron to attack her. Oh, the long conversation between Dovra and Allonar was an actual IC conversation, so John/Allonar deserves credit for his own lines. I fixed one minor error (Heian is a full elf, not a half-elf), but otherwise left them as they were. Anyway, the tale is below the fold.


Dovra slept uneasily after they managed to open the chest. It wasn’t the chest itself that haunted her dreams, but the screaming that had come afterwards. One scream in particular played itself over and over in her mind: the girl they had rescued from the cells below had died, and for no good cause at all. With every breath, Dovra breathed in the ashes from the fire that had killed her, had nearly killed all of them … except Shenron. No, the one who had foolishly started the fire had not been hurt at all. Naturally, he was immune to fire damage. But Dovra and the others, already hurt from dealing with the chest, had not been so lucky, and it had been enough to kill the poor frog-girl. It seemed strange that someone so capable in battle—Dovra still remembered the banshee cries as the grabbed the nearest monster and bashed it into the floor—would be so fragile, but the fire had killed her instantly. Shenron had tried to rescue her from his idiocy, but it had been too late. They had never even learned her name.

The scene froze as Dovra stared down at the dead girl, and then the dream started over from the beginning, with Heian and Dovra just beginning to work on the chest. It had seemed like a good idea. Dovra had always been curious about the halfling’s ice chest and everyone else seemed to be hoping there was treasure inside. It was a challenge to her magical skills, and she always enjoyed such challenges. While she and the rogue worked on the chest, the others had to fight off the monsters it kept summoning. The monsters were semi-transparent as if they weren’t quite fully there, but the wounds they inflicted were real enough. For the most part, Dovra was able to trust her allies to take care of the monsters while she remained focused on the chest. The black dragon’s screech, though, had drawn her attention. Thankfully Allonar had been able to unsummon it without fighting. Dovra started paying more attention to the battle in case anything else would be too much for the group to handle with everything else around them. A while later, there was a horrid stench that nearly made her gag. “Troglodyte,” someone said and went to go fight it. That she hadn’t worried about unsummoning, but the giant blind thunder lizard, which had barely fit in the room, was another story. That one she had unsummoned herself before returning to the chest.

While Heian worked his way up and down the dial, listening for whatever it was that told him when the correct number was being turned to, Dovra tried to ward the dials and gather information the only way she knew how: through magic. Sometimes the chest was able to block her, and she reeled from the backlash of its psychic attacks, but sometimes she got a tiny hint of information to make Heian’s job easier. Then, finally, she knew exactly what the first number of the combination was. The number 13 had appeared in her head, and she felt the chest’s awareness reel back, knowing it had lost the battle on that dial. As she summoned the mage hand to turn it to 13, there was almost a sizzling sound. One down, three to go, and the battle continued around them.

They had barely started on the next dial when a strange song began flowing through Dovra’s head. It was a wondrous, beauteous song, and it drew her towards its source. The source, though was an insult to the beauty of the song. The song needed to be freed from the horrid half-woman half-bird who had stolen it. The harpy had drawn every one towards it, so that it was surrounded, and it was dead before Dovra could do more than think about destroying it. It hadn’t stood a chance with enemies flanking it on every side. As if coming out of a trance, Dovra realized that a summoned Shadar Kai had also been drawn towards it, and was now adjacent to her. She tried to unsummon it, but the chest’s hold on it was too strong. Dovra muttered a prayer to Corellon under her breath. As if in answer, the room flickered. She sensed that the chest had been weakened somehow, and tried again to unsummon the Shadar Kai. This time it went easily.

Most of the rest of the creatures wound up in mortal combat with Shenron, with the strange new power he had picked up that forced a creature to fight him and only him. This kept them from attacking the rest of the team, so they could focus on weaker creatures or on the chest. Horgta stuck close to Dovra and Heian, pulling them away from the chest before its cold could overcome them. They almost had the second dial figured out when Dovra felt the numbers rolling in her head: the chest had overcome the ward she had placed on that lock, and she sighed, knowing it was going to change the combination now … but something strange happened. As the numbers spun in her head, they seemed to get stuck. The number 19 flashed in her consciousness and the second lock sizzled and opened. Dovra wasn’t sure what had happened. 19 had been their candidate for that lock anyway; possibly the chest’s attempt to change it had gotten stuck on that number. The last two dials went more quickly: most of the fight seemed to have gone out of the chest now that two of its locks were open. Heian thought he had the last two numbers: 14 and 16. He set the dials and tested the lid. It opened easily, and the remaining creatures vanished.

Dovra looked into the chest and wasn’t sure what to think. There was a clear crystal chalice and some sort of rock frozen inside it. Everyone gathered round, trying to figure out what it was. Dovra sensed a presence from it, as if the rock had some rudimentary awareness. She thought that, whatever it was, it might be dangerous, and was certain she’d never even heard of anything like it. Why had Phoenix kept it locked in a frozen box? Why had he had a sentient pet rock at all?

Shenron seemed drawn towards the rock in its chalice. “Hey! I bet my fire breath could thaw it out!”

The dream froze. Dovra had all the time in the world to look around the room and note all of the spilled potions and acids and chemicals. She turned and grunted in her sleep, knowing now how flammable they all were. Dream-Dovra tried to shout a warning, though she’d done no such thing when it had actually happened. Heian and Allonar did caution the dragonborn about thawing the rock at all, let alone thawing it with fire. Shenron ignored them. The preparatory inhale seemed to take forever, and the fiery exhale moved millimeter by millimeter towards the rock, and it spread millimeter by millimeter through the entire lab. When the fire reached Dovra, setting her on fire, time started moving normally again. In reality, she had moved towards Allonar, helping douse his flames. In the dream, she moved towards the doomed girl, hoping somehow to shield her this time, but it was no use. The girl shrieked once and died.

This time the dream didn’t start over. The shriek echoed and repeated over and over and over in Dovra’s head … and another scream from the depths of her memory rose up and joined the chorus. The new scream finally drowned out the girl’s dying shriek, but it wasn’t much of an improvement. “Moiah…” Dovra muttered in her sleep, and saw her not-quite-human friend plummeting into the chasm. There’d been nothing she could do but hope that their pursuers thought that Dovra had fallen with her. She hid and waited, trying to hold back the sobs. All of fourteen, she was only just learning how her powers worked, and she’d forgotten to warn Moiah that one of the planks in the suspension bridge was an illusion. It was her fault, her own bloody fault, that her friend had fallen to her death. One careless moment, and everything had changed. Just like Shenron’s careless flames had snuffed out a life. The dream switched back to the lab on fire. This time Moiah sat in the doomed girl’s place, and, as she burned, she stared into Dovra’s eyes.

Something touched Dovra on the shoulder, and she barely bit back a yelp. It was just Shenron, waking her up for her watch. She glared at him. She might have gotten a friend killed, but she hadn’t set the rest of her friends on fire doing so. He didn’t seem to notice. He seemed distracted and strangely bloated as he collapsed into sleep on what was left of the halfling’s work table. She wondered if he’d found more gold to eat. Then she noticed that the rock was no longer in its chalice on the table, and was no where else in the room. Surely he wouldn’t have eaten that, would he? She wasn’t sure. Regardless, he needed to take responsibility for what he had done. Dovra didn’t know what she could do, but something needed to be done. She kept a wary eye on him, and sighed. He had defended them against everything the chest had thrown at them. Without him, they might not all have survived. But he still needed to learn some caution and respect.

About halfway through the shift, she felt an insistent presence in her mind. The star around her neck began to give off a faint glow. She let it guide her to a bit of rubble that had somehow escaped the fire. Of their own accord, her hands began digging through it. At the bottom was a small vial. Her powers told her it was a frost grenade. It was interesting, but not obviously useful. ::You’re going to need it,:: Correllon’s voice said in her head. She was certain that, had anyone else been awake, they would not have seen the faintly glowing elf who appeared leaning against the wall across from her. ::And I need to point out to you that Shenron is under Bahamut’s protection. If things go too far…:: Correllon grimaced and made a throat-cutting gesture.


::Things? What things?:: Dovra tried to ask, but the image faded without responding.

She spent the rest of the watch trying to figure out what Corellon thought was going to happen. Just before it was time to wake Horgta, she heard a sharp, “Pst!” She looked around for Corellon again. “What?” After a moment, she figured out it was only Allonar. He motioned for her to come closer. Dovra did so bemusedly, wondering if she looked even half as confused as she felt. The deva gestured at Shenron, and Dovra grimaced. Was this what Corellon had been trying to warn her about? Surely they had to do something about the dragonborn.

“What he did last night,” Allonar said softly, glowing eyes strangely muted, “that can’t be ignored. He almost got us all killed. I specifically told him not to use his flame on the ice, but he did it anyway.”

“That he did,” Dovra agreed. “And he got that poor girl killed.” Dovra sighed, hearing the screams again. “We never even found out her name.”

“Indeed. I will not needlessly injure those who claim to serve good, but I'm beginning to doubt his 'goodness'. Her death needs to be Avenged. It is my calling.”

Dovra couldn’t read the deva’s eyes, and the rest of his face was under that strange mask they all seemed to wear. “I don’t know about the whole ‘good’ thing, but what he did wasn’t right. What did you have in mind?”

“I'm not sure what the end result should be, but he has to be forced to listen. You are capable of causing a forced sleep, correct?”

“Yes, but he can resist. I would prefer to have as strong a chance as possible of it working. He will only be slowed if it fails.”

“Hmm, what if he is asleep when you use it, would that cause him to wake if it fails?”

“No. I tried it on the Blue Dragon, and it failed, and he did not wake up right away. We just won't be certain it has worked without trying to wake him.” Dovra thought quickly. Surely Bahamut wouldn’t object to his paladin being put to sleep, but what else did Allonar have in mind?

“Very well. We will try it, then send the rogue to remove his weapons. Once he has taken (and hidden, the weapons), he can begin to remove the paladin's armor: that is sure to wake him if he is not supernaturally held. What say you to this idea?”

“Count me in.” Without his weapons, a violent conflict would be less likely. Hopefully Bahamut wouldn’t object to a peaceful solution.

“What is your desired restitution against this creature?”

Dovra thought for a moment. What did she want? “I wish for him to know the same pain and isolation that the girl knew. I wish for his power to diminish until he has learned his lesson and has found some way to put this right.” That seemed fair, though she had no idea how to make it happen.

“Very well. I will speak to the Half-Orc and also wake you and the elf before the Dragonborn has wakened. If he wakes, we may yet set upon him to teach him a lesson.”

“I will support you in this.” Yes, removing his weapons before dealing with him would be one way to avoid bloodshed. That might keep Bahamut from interfering.

“Very good. May your rest be satisfying until our plans come to fruition.”

“Yours as well.”

Dovra watched as the deva went to wake Horgta for the last watch. She lay down, but kept her ears open as the deva and the half-orc continued their plotting. The more she heard of their plans, the less she liked them. Yes, disarm him, yes teach him a lesson, but Dovra would not agree to humiliate and rob him. That would do nothing to bring the girl back or to heal their wounds. This was sounding less like it was about teaching Shenron a lesson and more like it was about out and out revenge. She wasn’t sure that the half-orc and the deva wouldn’t kill him, given half a chance. As she drifted into sleep, she decided that the plan needed a few alterations. She thought she felt Corellon wince at some of the ideas she had, but she ignored it. If he had a better plan, he could just tell her.

…



Horgta woke her sometime later and put his finger to his lips. Dovra looked up at him and nodded, feeling strangely giddy about what was to come. Everyone was quietly gathering around Shenron. Allonar was trying to change the plan at the last minute and have Horgta knock Shenron unconscious instead. She had to act now. She stepped back and cast the sleep spell so that it would hit everyone but her. They’d made it easy for her by circling around the sleeping dragonborn. Allonar looked at her reproachfully and shrugged it off, but she’d half-been expecting that. It hit Horgta and Heian, but it would take a few moments before it knocked them out. Shenron was sleeping so she wouldn’t be able to tell—except as soon as the spell reached him he burst into flame. Dovra stared in disbelief. “What in Correllon’s name…?”

The dragonborn bolted upright and stared around, realizing that he was surrounded. He gave Dovra a wide-eyed look, though she was not even adjacent to him to pose much of a threat. He seemed to be muttering to himself; more than that, he seemed to be arguing with himself. The only word Dovra could make out was, “No…” If he had gone insane, her plan would have even less chance of working, but it was the best one she had. Allonar and Horgta postured and made their threats. Heian slumped over, asleep. Wonderful. He would have been the most useful one to leave awake, and he was the only one the bloody thing had worked on. Dovra took a deep breath and began weaving the sound illusion that she hoped would end this. It began with a rumble of thunder. Then she wove in what she thought the voice of Bahamut should sound like, almost blending in with the thunder. It said “Shenron…” Her star grew cold against her skin, as if Corellon were warning her. For a moment, she thought she heard his voice again, saying, “No, don’t smite her.” She hoped she’d imagined it.

Shenron looked around confusedly for the source of the voice. He considered for a moment, but he seemed to trace its source to Dovra. Blast. This wasn’t going to work. She tried anyway, tried to get him to swear an oath that would be bound to Bahamut that any damage he inflicted on the group would be doubly inflicted on him. Allonar would have none of it. “That was not what we agreed to, and you attacked us,” he told Dovra, turning his back on her. Dovra frowned. Humiliating and robbing Shenron was not what she had agreed to. The deva had little room to complain. Given Corellon’s warning, it seemed best not to overdo things against Shenron, and she was convinced that the deva’s plan was nothing but overkill.

For no obvious reason, Shenron moved jerkily toward a wall, as if moving weren’t his idea. He inhaled and produced a larger flame than Dovra had ever seen from him. It filled the room, burning everyone but Shenron. Dovra irritably rubbed the soot from her arms. At least she hadn’t caught on fire this time. Allonar and Horgta moved to flank Shenron, and Allonar’s ghostly double appeared, blocking any escape for the dragonborn. They began attacking him with all they had. Dovra wasn’t going to attack anyone, but she did send her mage hand over to try and get Shenron’s sword off his belt. He reacted too quickly, and the hand wasn’t strong enough to overpower him. Maybe now would be a good time to create an illusion of the girl’s face in front of him. Was the dragonborn capable of guilt or remorse? That would be one way to find out.

Before she could try, Shenron began coughing violently. It reminded her of the way he had acted when he’d eaten all the gold. Finally, something came out of his mouth and landed improbably in his hand. It was the rock that had been frozen inside the chest. Allonar became even more enraged. “Drop your weapons, or die,” he said. Shenron complied, dropping everything but the rock. He tried to drop the rock, but his fingers simply would not release it. Dovra realized it must have enhanced his flame ability, and remembered that Phoenix had kept it encased in ice… “The rock, as well,” Allonar said, deliberately refusing to recognize that Shenron had been incapable of doing so.

“I may be able to help with that,” Dovra said. Everyone looked at her suspiciously, but she didn’t care. “Corellon led me to a sort of ice grenade last night, and I think this is why. I think if I can hit the rock with it, Shenron will be able to let go of it.” She moved in closer, ignoring the wary looks they gave her. She missed the rock, but the grenade hit Shenron instead. That was enough. His fingers slowly opened and the rock fell to the floor. Horgta started to poke at it with a sword but Allonar stopped him. Dovra summoned the mage hand once more and it grabbed the rock. As soon as it did, she felt its presence in her mind. “Let’s play!” it said. It tried to control her mind, but she was able to resist. The mage hand carried it back to the chest. As soon as it was inside the chest, Dovra dismissed the hand and gently closed the lid. “I just want to be friends!” the rock called to her faintly. Dovra shook her head. That kind of friend she did not need. The chest hadn’t locked again, but hopefully the rock couldn’t control anyone while it was out of sight and untouchable.

They took a long rest, and Dovra was mostly ignored, though she finally convinced Allonar to let her help him with his filth fever. He still had a cough from it, but so far it wasn’t getting any worse. She kept him stable, but was still unable to get him all the way over it. When he thought she couldn’t hear, he would glance at her and mutter about her going against the group consensus. Dovra looked over at Shenron, seeming rather pitiful without his armor on. Horgta and Allonar had insisted that he lose his armor if he wanted to live, and had taken his sword and replaced it with a wooden toy. That would only make him more foolhardy, and lessen his value to the group, as far as Dovra could tell. There had to be balance, yes, but overdoing things did not put them back in balance. She’d worked for evil wizards and good wizards, and on the whole she preferred the evil ones: they, at least, were under no illusions about what they were actually doing. This did nothing to avenge the girl’s death. If anything, it was an insult to her memory.

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08 June 2009

Rewatching Buffy

Just a few random observations from my selective rewatch of Season 4. I started rewatching it mainly because I was writing a character with an accent similar to Spike's, and needed to get it fresh in my head again. I kept watching, at least the eps that I most liked, because I'd forgotten how much fun the show was. However, I must not have watched it while in full-on writing mode before, because I found myself picking apart bits of the storylines more. Not in a bad way: by and large, the story arcs hold together. But just...noticing little plants here and there that I'd missed before.

One of the most amusing, and strangest, is the Frankenstein doll Giles has hanging up for Halloween. Now, with no knowledge of the Big Bad, and the Initiative barely even discovered, this wouldn't have told a first-time viewer much. But it's a rather nice touch considering where the season is going to head.

There are also several not-so-subtle hints about Willow's eventual relationship shift. Played for laughs was Riley hanging a "Lesbian Alliance" sign, but there's also Willow commenting that "college is about experimenting." As I haven't been watching every episode, there were probably others that I missed.

One negative comment: did the editors really not realize that Sarah Michelle Gellar needed a thinner stunt double?!?? Also, the wig used on the stunt double was horribly obvious in at least one fight scene (Hush, at the Clock Tower). Not as bad as James Marsters' stunt-double's wig somewhere in Season 2 (which was worse, because it showed up constantly in the "Previously on Buffy" segments), but still... yick. I did not notice this so much on any previous viewing of Season 4, so maybe it's only when you've seen the episodes a few too many times. *shrugs*

Still, it's amazing how well the shows do hold up on re-viewing. So far my complaints are all technical nitpicks, rather than "Wait, I thought this made sense?" Oh, and I've also been grabbing some of my favorite lines to use as Random Quotes, which has been entertaining. (Apologies if I'm rambling; head pounding and tiredness make it impossible for me to tell)

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03 June 2009

Irony:

Working on a torture scene in a story and then going to a discussion group on Kant's "Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals." (Amazon)

Which reminds me, I think the reason I've been posting less is that I've been working on outside writing projects, and have felt less of a need to write here. I'll try to work on that.

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13 April 2009

Wheel of Time: Keeps on Rolling

Brandon Sanderson recently announced that "the" last book of the Wheel of Time will, in fact, be three books. That... feels about right to me, to settle most of the major outstanding plotlines. I wonder if Robert Jordan, had he lived, could really have gotten the whole thing into just one final book...? Hard to say. I also find Sanderson's semi-apologetic attitude amusing. I've been waiting for "the next book", whatever it might be, since I was in my teens. I've learned patience. ^/^

I should add that I'm perfectly happy to have more books set in a world that I so enjoy visiting. I was a bit disappointed when the announcement first came that there would be only one more book.

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25 February 2009

First Paper of the Semester...

...is now in a semi-final draft format. I need to read through it after a night's sleep to make sure it's coherent (particularly since "incoherency" is part of the title). It's for my political philosophy class, and I almost wound up using one of the tentatively suggested topics. Almost. I had thought about contrasting Locke and Montesquieu on the role of monarchy, but I couldn't get into the topic enough. One of the suggested topics was to contrast the views of Rousseau and Mill on the role of dispute in a democracy. I wound up arguing that an official system of censorship was incoherent in a democracy, using Montesquieu, Rousseau and Mill as sources. So my topic is very closely related to the suggested topic, but with a different primary focus.

Next paper of the semester will be an in-class "midterm experience" for existentialism; Levenson doesn't like the word "exam" or "test", and uses them only reluctantly. Thus it will be a "midterm experience" not a "midterm exam."

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05 December 2008

A Feverish Week

In more ways than one. On Tuesday, I was feeling okay...right up until I got done teaching and headed over to say hello to my mom. She wasn't back from practicing organ at her church yet, and by the time she did get there, I was more or less dead on my feet. I didn't want to move. We checked, and I had a slight fever. I gave in and took some ibuprofen when I got home. That helped.

Unfortunately, I had a Philosophy of Knowledge paper to write, and I'd barely started on it. I got a decent amount written on Monday. Any time after that when I felt coherent enough, I needed to work on that rather than attempting to keep this blog going. However, I got it finished up and turned in this morning (either nine hours early or 44 hours late, depending on which of his due dates you believe). So all that's left in that class now is the final, which will be a take-home to be turned in during our technical final exam slot.

I've been gradually getting to feel better over the week. I'm just glad that the flat tire wasn't on the same night I felt the worst. No, that was last night. When I came in to teach my evening classes yesterday and got out of the car, I noticed that the front left tire was down a bit. Of course, it was still down when I got back to the car after teaching. I crossed my fingers and hoped there was enough air in the tire to get me home. There wasn't. About a block and a half later, I pulled over...then I realized I was on a block with no streetlights, and decided to pull another block up and park under a streetlight. This turned out to be a good choice, as a gentleman across the street noticed me struggling to see what I was doing and provided both a flashlight and a bit of help. So, thanks to the nameless stranger, even though it's doubtful he reads this blog. He did most of the work with the jack, once I got it lined up, and I did most of the work on the lug-nuts.

Which means that this afternoon, or morning if the 108 lab isn't too busy, I get to go over to Les Schwab... and while I'm at it, I may as well have them put my snow tires on. There hasn't been much snow yet, but maybe putting my snow tires on will result in snow. Or at least I can make the fallacious post hoc ergo propter hoc conclusion that it did, if snow actually follows.

At any rate, now that the paper's done and the fever's abating, I might be able to get back to a regular posting schedule.

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12 September 2008

Dexter, Season 2, Pivotal Moment

I haven't finished all the episodes yet, but one scene in Ep. 9, Resistance is Futile, just blew me away. I put it below the fold since it's a fairly major spoiler. Admittedly, anyone with Showtime who's interested has already seen it, but as far as I know they'll still be showing it on network tv this fall. Which makes me curious as to how they plan to edit it... Lila, well, has no concept of body-shyness. She's not in the pivotal scene, however.

So, in Season 2, they found Dexter's body cache and named him the "Bay Harbor Butcher." In Ep. 8, Doakes found Dexter's trophy case of blood slides, but wasn't in a position to do much about it, having been suspended. So he tracks Dexter down on his own, and finds him attempting to dispose of a body. Yes, it's a tense scene, but there was something about it that just struck me.

Doakes is holding a gun on Dexter. Dexter knows he's been found out, but also knows that no one but Doakes knows about it. And the mask drops. The real Dexter is out in the open. And I seem to be the only fan who could watch that scene over and over again, since I'm not seeing it on YouTube so far. I can't describe it and do it justice.

It occurs to me that I've always had a fondness for the scene where the murderous villain no longer needs to hide, though in this case he's a murderous semi-hero. I like to see the masks drop, see the killer be who and what he really is. I like it when the real essence of the person comes out into the open. Even in a story where the one in the mask was truly the villain, I root for him in that scene, even if I despise him everywhere else. No more hiding. All the secrets laid bare. That, for me, is always the most fulfilling moment in a story, whether it be a movie, a book, or a television show. That's when I know it's about to get really good. ^/^

Ah, it is on YouTube, but as part of a longer clip. The scene I'm describing starts at about 6:30. Er, language and violence warning, and, of course, S2 spoilers.

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06 August 2008

Music to Write by

I had an odd experience as I was leaving the theater after seeing Dark Knight. First off, I saw it at an afternoon matinee, and it was extremely bright when I got outside. It really seemed brighter than I thought it should. Also, I was feeling very agitated, restless, maybe even a touch panicky. I didn't want to go home, but I couldn't think of anywhere I did want to go. I wound up driving by stored on that side of town and finally stopping at Ross. If nothing else, it would be darker and cooler inside.

I went inside, was bored almost immediately, and wandered back out. I sat in my car for a while, AC blasting, trying to ignore the brightness, and trying to figure out what was going on. I'm still not really sure. But suddenly the thought of "writing" popped into my head, and that gave me motivation to head home. I got home and started working on a bunch of stuff that I'd ignored for nearly a year, and it was going well, and I was enjoying it.

Whatever the effect was, it seemed to start wearing off the next day. So I went out and bought The Dark Knight soundtrack, loaded it onto my computer, and that was enough to restore the writing bug. Something about that music woke up my desire to write. Admittedly, the stories had started creeping into my head again of late, so I think it was ready to be woken up, but either that movie or its music or some combination of both was the final trigger.

Incidentally, that soundtrack doesn't work for every scene. I got stuck in one spot and finally switched over to the Pirate's 3 soundtrack, and then back when I'd finished that scene. But it seems that, for the moment, music is the key to getting myself to write.


Incidentally, my best guess as to what I was experiencing is some form of Panic Attack, but either it was comparatively mild or I didn't develop the "feedback loop" described in the article. The restless agitation fits with the "fight or flight" theme of trying to escape, but it was more...like I had too much energy and didn't know what to do with it all. So maybe a mega-adrenaline rush that triggered some symptoms similar to a panic attack without actually inducing panic? *shrugs* It was...weird. Oh, and I have no qualms about returning to the theater; the article mentions that people who have had panic attacks often feel aversion towards the places/events surrounding them.

Anyway, I'm happy to be writing again. Ironically, this seems to mean I've been writing less on the blog. ^/^ Ah well.

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19 December 2007

Wow.

I just took my philosophy final. Rather fun, really, but with one oddity. There was one question where the answer wrote itself with almost no conscious intervention on my part. I do not remember writing it. I remember ideas flowing through my mind and into my hand, but that's all. Then, when my answer was almost complete, the bubble popped and I was left staring at my paper trying to figure out where all the words had come from. I blinked several times and moved on to another question. At the end, I came back to the self-written one, skimmed it enough to get the gist of it, and wrote a concluding paragraph. It was a bit bizarre, actually. Oh, the question was about Freud's views of "oceanic feeling" and the "superego." I didn't care for Freud's views on the subject, and apparently my reaction went deep enough to bypass my ego entirely while "I" was writing it. ^/^ Ironic and weird, but cool.

And...on the way home I realized that it was even more ironic than I thought, as I was writing about surrendering the self, as I surrendered myself to the writing.

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17 December 2007

One Day More...

Another day, two other finals to give
This near-to-ending road of grades to sift
These students who would like to pass
Will move on to another cast
One Day More...

(yes, I've probably used this song in a similar manner before)

And I'd write more but I'm trying to polish up my final philosophy paper. I didn't really like any of the topic choices, so I decided to do a dialogue related to one of the choices. At some point in Hume's Dialogue, Philo notes that there are four possibilities for the entities/processes responsible for the world: (1) they were good; (2) they were evil; (3) some were good and some were evil; (4) they were neutral. I've got a character to argue each POV. It's fun, but I have to restrain Yvette a bit, as it's just too much fun to argue for evil. It takes me back to my existentialist high school days, though then I was more of the "absurd" POV, but I sympathized with the evil POV. Yeah, okay. Back to writing the paper instead of writing about it.

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09 February 2006

Words are Flowing

I'm starting to think that the reason I haven't been writing as much lately is because I haven't had the energy to spare. Since starting back on the multivitamin, I've started thinking about Devil Falls (my fictional Idaho city) again, and making some progress. Of course, having an hour long commute on MW also gives me time to think, and tie loose ends together. :^D One major problem was that, past the first section (which Fibonacci has read), Jareth doesn't play much of a role. I finally figured out why, and found a way to fix it once the right plot elements are in place. Until that happens, his role will be minor, but so will Alex's.

I hesitate to put too much detail about this on the web, but I will say that my starting point was (1) I wanted to have my own version of vampires; (2) I wanted to explore a love-hate relationship (that's the part Fibonacci has read); (3) It needed to start with a character waking up in a coffin. It ran through several incarnations in my head before I started writing, so that I had several sets of characters in my head. Alex and Jareth wound up fitting the love-hate relationship best. The other characters wouldn't go away, though. So now I'm working on integrating them into the story. Some showed up in the first section, others won't show up until later.

It's funny, though, that my plots are nearly entirely character based. I come up with an idea. I come up with characters to explore that idea. Sometimes I know where I want it to go; sometimes not. Sometimes the characters have other ideas entirely. One of my favorite things to do with a new character is "introduce" him/her to existing characters in my mind and see what happens. Sometimes it's boring. Sometimes it's stupid. And once in a while it's beautiful in a way that forever alters the structure of the storyline. The only way NOT to alter the storyline is to throw out the new character.

At the moment, I'm having Glindar (a strange little assassin) meet Alex (while NOT trying to kill her this time). Not in my head; on, er, virtual paper. This isn't one of the plot-altering moments. It's more necessary for a later event related to Glindar. But Glindar's fun to write.

Who is Glindar? Glindar was a hunter back in the middle ages (I haven't determined when, precisely). A witch gave him an enchanted knife that she said would make him immortal. It did, but not without complications. His brain and body have both been warped by the experience. Though he once stood six feet tall, he is now a little over four feet. He's not evil, precisely, but he's certainly not good. He's going to move towards one or the other soon...I haven't made up my mind which.

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