06 August 2008

Music to Write by

I had an odd experience as I was leaving the theater after seeing Dark Knight. First off, I saw it at an afternoon matinee, and it was extremely bright when I got outside. It really seemed brighter than I thought it should. Also, I was feeling very agitated, restless, maybe even a touch panicky. I didn't want to go home, but I couldn't think of anywhere I did want to go. I wound up driving by stored on that side of town and finally stopping at Ross. If nothing else, it would be darker and cooler inside.

I went inside, was bored almost immediately, and wandered back out. I sat in my car for a while, AC blasting, trying to ignore the brightness, and trying to figure out what was going on. I'm still not really sure. But suddenly the thought of "writing" popped into my head, and that gave me motivation to head home. I got home and started working on a bunch of stuff that I'd ignored for nearly a year, and it was going well, and I was enjoying it.

Whatever the effect was, it seemed to start wearing off the next day. So I went out and bought The Dark Knight soundtrack, loaded it onto my computer, and that was enough to restore the writing bug. Something about that music woke up my desire to write. Admittedly, the stories had started creeping into my head again of late, so I think it was ready to be woken up, but either that movie or its music or some combination of both was the final trigger.

Incidentally, that soundtrack doesn't work for every scene. I got stuck in one spot and finally switched over to the Pirate's 3 soundtrack, and then back when I'd finished that scene. But it seems that, for the moment, music is the key to getting myself to write.

Incidentally, my best guess as to what I was experiencing is some form of Panic Attack, but either it was comparatively mild or I didn't develop the "feedback loop" described in the article. The restless agitation fits with the "fight or flight" theme of trying to escape, but it was more...like I had too much energy and didn't know what to do with it all. So maybe a mega-adrenaline rush that triggered some symptoms similar to a panic attack without actually inducing panic? *shrugs* It was...weird. Oh, and I have no qualms about returning to the theater; the article mentions that people who have had panic attacks often feel aversion towards the places/events surrounding them.

Anyway, I'm happy to be writing again. Ironically, this seems to mean I've been writing less on the blog. ^/^ Ah well.

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