Over the Edge

I've reached my breaking point. I've had it. I'm going to kill millions and millions of innocent, helpless... ...quack grass plants. Okay, "helpless" is a bit of a stretch for a plant whose roots can grow through just about anything, and which can return from even a quarter inch of its root, but it made it all the more dramatic, didn't it?

But I'm fed up with grass. The stuff that's pretty drinks water like a drunken fremen, then has to be mowed, which wastes time, gas, and messes with my allergies. The quack grass just gets into everything. We hates it. So we, er, I have decided to turn large swaths of the yard into desert. I got a bunch of drought-tolerant plants at Fred Meyer yesterday; now all I have to do is slaughter the current residents. I'm looking forward to the carnage.