Awakening

three years dead
I walked the hills a corpse
trapped in my own head
Blackened crust of a heart
glowed crimson through the cracks,
trickling, breathing pain
Numbness welcomed: dead in life,
desolate, drained, dazed

Awakening...
Awakening...
Awakening...hurts.

The first part is a description of how I felt shortly after my grandma's death. The awakening...has come in stages. I'm sort of hoping that I've come through it all now. Being numb gets old. Fast.