May/June Searchlight

Two months together, as I just didn't feel like it at the beginning of June.

stealing poems and poems about stealing and poems on stealing: You might have better luck with "heist", as it seems more poetic than "stealing."
aluminum sparks: Most metals spark under the right (or wrong) conditions.
dandelion digger: AKA a dandelion propagator, unless they're newborns with very small roots that the digger can actually get to. If they're big ol' grandaddy dandelions, you're wasting your time.
idaho, rattlesnake, blog: You were probably disappointed. I've only ever seen one rattlesnake in the wild. On the list of things not to do to children: make them so scared of rattlesnakes that they extend the fear to all snakes and simply freeze up in the presence of any snake (one of my mom's grandmas did that to her).
impassable river: Depends largely on what you've got with you.

"atheist spirituality" and "problem of evil": Generally atheists don't have a problem with accounting for evil in their world view.
"black female howler" monkeys and mango: You weren't expecting to find a black female cat named Howler, were you? (formerly named Howler, now called Jilly)
"i think i'm going mad": Join the club. The water's fine, but the cherries on the wallpaper are going bad.
"i hate mowing the lawn": Join the club. Try converting most of the lawn to something else. I'm slowly working on that. I don't plan to eliminate it entirely, but I'd be happy with a much smaller patch.
bad things that affect health: Er, just about anything can be bad in the wrong quantity... `/^
gluten-free theology: Tons of gluten-free stuff, but unless you're Catholic, afaik, all theology is gluten-free. Idiot Catholic authorities don't consider a gluten-free wafer to be a "true" eucharist. Right, so poisoning the flock every week is okay, huh?
ken cohen taiji fraud: Not having seen his form, I'm not qualified to comment. Based on the one book of his I've read and the video my teacher has of him practicing the five animal frolics, I very much doubt he's a fraud.
recreation of the magic bullet shot: You're probably looking for a show the Discovery Channel made a few years back, so try their site instead.
song ohhhh oh oh ohhhhh: Uh, there are probably thousands of songs with those, er, lyrics.
tao "queen headboard": Best guess, you were looking for one with Taoist symbols on it. I've never seen one like that.
thomas ashley farrand's healing mantras blogspot: If he's got a blog, you can probably find it here. That's his official site, as far as I know.
xkcd nihilist existentialist: LOL. I would guess that the author of xkcd has about as much use for labels as I do.
zyrtec wears off before 24 hours: I find that it gives odd hiccups every so often, then comes back online. Usually they're minor for me. Doesn't mean they are for everyone.

Those were the more interesting newish ones.