Completion

For no particular reason, I went hunting for images of Esmerelda Weatherwax, and came across some interesting sites in the process. For those who don't know her, Granny Weatherwax is the most powerful witch in the Discworld. She's too proud to be anything but good, especially since her sister went off and became the evil one. One of my favorite quotes from her is "Let's do some good!" Picture an older woman with a very nasty smile on her face saying this as if pronouncing mankind's doom. *grins*

However, the most interesting site compares her to a Mazatec chota chine. There's a fascinating discussion about how "chota chine" ought to be translated. The usual translation is "wise one". But looking at the root Mazatec words suggests that there is a meaning of "mastery" and "completeness." It reminds me of some stuff I've seen in Taoist tracts. Sometimes the Taoist masters are called "Immortals" (and there is argument over whether this was literal, physical immortality or something more figurative; in Chinese legend, at least, physical immortality is implied). However, the Immortals are often referred to as "Real People." As in, they are the only ones who are truly complete, truly real. Everyone else lives a half-life at best, never seeing the "really real world."

And this also fits with Terry Pratchett's descriptions of witchcraft through Granny Weatherwax. Witches have "first sight and second thoughts." "First sight" means they see what's really there. Ask any police officer who's ever taken witness statements and he/she/it'll tell you that first sight is a rare gift. Plenty of people see things that aren't there. Plenty of people miss things that are. Second thoughts means thinking about your own thoughts. Most people are so caught up in just the thinking of their thoughts that they don't even notice them, let alone think about them. They don't think about why they think the things they do.

One of the most important skills to learn for taiji is often called "listening." It has very little to do with sound. It might be more accurate to call it "awareness" yet it's an awareness that feels like listening. Listening to your opponent's energy and movement. Feeling where the vulnerable spots are and when they are no longer vulnerable. Seeing where the opponent really is and what he's really doing rather than being so caught up in your own attack that you don't notice you've already been neutralized. So there are two levels of awareness. First, awareness of what your own body is doing; possibly I could describe it as second non-thoughts, since it's more sliding under thoughts than thinking about them. Second, awareness of what your opponent is actually doing: first "sight".

I've made several leaps in the past year in push-hands skill, or so my partners and teacher tell me. They say my root has improved; i.e. it's very difficult to push me over using brute force. They say my following ability has improved. They say I catch more of the openings that are there, and am more often successful at taking advantage of them. Don even says that he's finally got a student who can give him an actual challenge at push hands, though he still pushes me out twenty-nine times for every one time I get him. But a major key to that change is simply awareness. I can now feel my own vulnerabilities, and correct them. Some of the time, at least.

Anyway, I've wandered a bit, but my main point is that being really in this world involves being aware of it. Accepting it for what it is. Acknowledging what it is not. Seeing what's really there. Being aware of your own thoughts about it. I figure that taiji is one path towards that goal, and that I've inched my way a bit closer. I sometimes think you have to walk the knife's edge, as Granny Weatherwax does, if you become truly aware. "Good and bad is trickey. I ain't too certain about where people stand. P'raps what matters is which way you face."