New Depths

Just some advice if anyone else ingests a substance (like ginger) that tends to have negative affects on their mood. EAT. Do NOT skip a meal. On Saturday after taiji, I wandered a bit in IF and was too lazy to get food before driving back. By the time I got back, I didn't feel like eating much. So I didn't. My mood gradually worsened through the afternoon (though getting my Christmas tree up and decorated pushed it back up a smidgen), to the point that I still didn't want to eat come dinner time. I ate...something. Not very much. Then I went over to help Mom with her Christmas tree. I did eat a bit there, but it was too little too late.

Unlike the day before, the negativity was so strong that it took quite a while before I figured out that it was still likely due to ginger (and lack of food). What finally made me realize that it wasn't really MY emotion was when a fleeting suicidal feeling brushed through. THAT woke me up. Then I managed to separate out which feelings were mine and which were externally-induced. It wasn't easy, or pleasant. Scared the hell out of me. I went into a flurry of activity to try and drain it out a bit, and was finally exhausted enough to sleep around midnight.

The next day I still wasn't quite feeling like my usual self, but I muddled through. By noon, most of the negativity had worn off (food helped a lot). It hasn't made another appearance, but I also haven't had anything with even a tinge of ginger in it for a while. Oh, and this convinced me NOT to give ginger another go this summer. At the moment, my feelings on it are WORSE than my feelings about wheat, rye and barley products. They just poison my body, not my mind.

*sighs* I never understood it when Kim told me that almonds made her suicidally depressed. It was hard to imagine ANY food (or chemical) doing that. *goes to throw out everything in the house containing ginger*