Department Store Oddities (+minor update)

Why enunciation is important:
Over the speakers came an announcement calling workers to "the math department," or at least that's what it sounded like. The announcement repeated, and this time sounded more like "meth". So far as I know, no department store has a math section, and none would announce one involving illegal drugs over the loud-speaker. Eventually I figured out they meant the "men's department."

My tired brain:
I saw a label on a box that I thought said "Satanland." A second glance revealed it was "Santaland".

Destructive Child:
A little girl in a cart (maybe 3 or 4 years old) kept pointing at items on the shelf. "Mommy? Can I bweak that?"
Mother (absently): "No."
"Can I thwow it on the floor?"
"No."
etc.

Label on a Showercurtain:
Dry Clean Only

Sign on a Billboard:
"Great Careers for Great People!" Am I the only one who immediately infers the corollaries, "Mediocre carers for mediocre people!" and "Lousy careers for lousy people!" ? I think of these every time I see that silly sign.

And Now for an Update:
I think I have everything wrapped now, oddly enough. Two boxes still to tie up with ribbon, but otherwise it's all done. And I discovered tonight that plain string doesn't burn very well. It took several matches' worth of kindling before the wax under the string melted enough to sustain the fire. It was quite pretty when it all caught, though.